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I always offer a smile or kind word because I think I could very well be the only person to do that to a stranger that day. I actually wrote a paper about how compassion towards others is so lacking in todays world. So it's kind of funny that you said you do that also Jofi. :D
I think that when you put yourself out there, you may be embarassed, you may feel silly, but you also could have brightened one persons day, and that makes it worth it. The happier you feel about yourself, the better energy your going to have towards your dog. So glad to hear someone someone else shares that feeling.
I am very lucky that my boyfriend of 3.5 years also thinks along those lines. He is always putting himself out there to offer friendliness to a stanger, and he has a very good energy. He has only recently gotten as into dogs and Cesar Millan like I have, but he has been my biggest supporter and ally. He has a much better energy than I do. I saw an episode of DW where the wife said about her husband, "He has the energy and I have the technique" I think that very well sums it up with my relationship too. He is always there helping me to stay calm when I start to get frustrated, and he is definitely not afraid to point out what I am doing wrong. HAHA.
I know that didnt have much to do with anything, just kind of telling about my life. lol
Halie, now you have hundreds of supporters here,! ;) and as I have said before it is also about offering a hand to you as well as your dog, and I do not say what I do not mean my door is always open child, we shall walk a while whenever you need to, my hand is always reaching out waiting for anyone to take it, endeavour to be the embodiment of what you want your life to be and the right kind of human being will gravitate to you like a moth ;)
Keep your mind open Halie listen and learn in all walks of life, open your mind to differing ways and differing points of view and listen to YOUR instinct, if that little bell is jangling in your head listen it is there for a reason.
You are most most welcome, I wish for you and your guy peace and light and a smile for your boy.
much metta Halie ;)
jofi
Hey, can I get in on this "Virtual Pack" stuff? I'm new to the forum and have just mastered the treadmill with my Beagle Carlos. You can read all about it on my post "Mastering the Treadmill." I just read all the posts in regard to sweet Hali's (sorry if I spelled that wrong) post and I want in. I agree with the anger AND the "letting it go" attitude. I also agree that stupid people are here for a reason, to teach us patience, etc., and that I was once extremely stupid and I've thankfully lived long enough to get a little smarter. Also, I want to say that I wish I had had as much courage as you, Hali, to be a Pack Leader at your age. You're almost young enough to be my granddaughter and I'm just now getting it. I've always loved animals, I just never knew I had it in me to be a Pack Leader.
I groom pets in my home-based salon and I'm always striving to remain calm and assertive to get the job done. Grooming became quite stressful for me a couple years ago due to perimenopause and the stress that goes with that. Now that I'm almost over that, I can focus on getting the job of being a Pack Leader done. Every day brings different challenges for me with dogs, cats AND their people. Mostly the people. If I could get the pets to drive themselves here and leave their people at home, it would be so much calmer around here, I just know it. :D
Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and ask that Jofi and Susanne and the rest here please accept me as part of your pack. Most of my clients and friends around here love Cesar's ways, but I am very rural and don't have a lot of opportunity to actually chat with like-minded people on such a large scale.
One more thing and then I'll let you go. Just to let you know a little more of where I'm coming from...Once when I was feeling angry with a dog on my grooming table that wouldn't stand still for me, I suddenly heard my dear departed Beagle Bailey say to me, "Treat him as you would me, Mom." And so I did. And whenever I get into like situations with doggy clients, I take a deep breath and ask myself, "What would Cesar do?" It helps put me back on track immediately. Cats, on the other hand, can be another story, but I'm the local expert with them. Go figure.
Remember folks what Cesar preaches, your dog is your mirror. Boy, those simple words really opened my eyes. I am now focusing more on my own energy when Carlos gets frightened and anxious. He is my teacher.
Thanks for reading...your friend and a work in progress, Lori
Lori, ha ha mate you don't have to ask permission to join our "virtual pack" (which by the way I cannot take credit for, my friend KatMF was the brains behind that, and I think it is very apt so I have pinched it! )
You are most welcome to come along for the ride, not one person is better than another here. ;) so please........ take a walk with us anytime ;)
I look forward to reading your thoughts Lori.
peace and light
Thank you, thank you, Jofi and all! I had pleasant dreams last night after reading all your posts here! I'm thrilled to be on board. Kinda makes the cold winter here in the Midwest (US) a bit more warm and fuzzy. Carlos is snoozing on my chair behind me as I type. Not really good for my posture, but my back is quite warm.
I rec'd an email from a pet grooming client today after sending out an email to all about mine and Carlos' success on the treadmill (TM from now on). She was saying how jealous she was of me because she can't seem to get her Lucky past the sliding and skidding stage. I told her I'd be happy to have Lucky over for a play date and show him the ropes. I was recently able to get Lucky off tranquilizers for the grooming session. He's a barker when he gets excited. He gets excited for his nails. He and I, and also Carlos, have become great friends and I consider him a nephew of sorts. So I feel comfortable enough around him to tell him to stop barking and that he's a good boy when he's good. He's responded quite well and I love not having to stare at a glazed over look in his eyes anymore. He can go home from grooming and act normal instead of "coming down" from a drug-induced buzz. He's a terrior-bassett mix, as far as we can guess. By the way, he barks a lot less after his mom leaves...hmmm.
Also, he and his housemate Bud came to Carlos' birthday party last year at the dog park and had a ball. There were almost 30 dog guests plus their people. Some client/friends came that didn't even have dogs just to join in on the fun. As soon as I can figure out how to, I'm going to put the video of it on UTube and let the world see how dogs have fun. Bud had a good time licking the doggy cake right off the table. I got a good picture of that. He's a big ole' yellow lab.
I remember having the most fun planning for the party. However, a few days before I watched an episode of DW and got cold feet. I thought to myself I must be crazy, getting all those dogs together. I was selective on who I sent invitations and, amazingly, everyone got along very well. There were small kids there too and it was the most fun I've had in a long time. We had a pinata filled with dog treats, cakes for both humans and dogs, games, wading pools, agility equipment, music and just plain fun. I had nothing to worry about. For the next week, I kept waking up wishing I could do it all over again. I think Cesar would have been proud of all of us. Those that came and some who couldn't come asked me to make sure they were invited to the next party! I've since added Pooch Party Planning to my services.
Sorry this is so long. I just want to add that I'm thinking of adding TM walking as a service to my pet spa. I've checked on line and a lot of other dog places do it. I hope to tucker dogs out a little before the grooming and make a little extra cash as well. I don't live in the best location to promote this - very rural - and I've been struggling for years to get steady income here. Country people can be so weird about the money they spend on their pets. The ones that come here though love the drive, love the atmosphere and love the fact that I give one-on-one attention to their pets. Also, I have no cages. Each pet has their own appointment so their is less stress due to no barking dogs in cages all day.
Just wanted to share these things. Don't know where you guys are all located, but any input on the above subject would be most appreciated. Keep in mind that I'm already walking the dogs around my yard so they can potty before grooming (since most pet owners refuse to believe their dog needs to go because they "just went at home.") So, to walk them on the TM after pottying and before grooming would benefit the dogs and me.
Thanks for reading, Lori
Hi Lori, ;) I think you are doing a great job my friend, tiring the dogs before you groom I also think is very sensible especially if you have a dog with a lot of pent up energy so great idea, the more you can create a stable relaxed environment for the dogs that come to you the better not only for them but for you, because your safety is a priority ;) I also think great idea to stagger the appointments, keeps the energy levels low so no stress for the dogs.
As for the wee chap who barks a lot, I think him barking less when his owner goes is a rather significant sign, I know what you mean about country folk, I live in the highlands of Scotland so can see where you are coming from ;) I would offer that maybe the wee terrier-basset mix doesn't expel a lot of energy or is just generally not stimulated enough, as long as when they are with you and the environment you are all in is sound and balanced sometimes that is all one can do and perhaps occassionally interject with I've noticed he/she does this have you thought about being like this with them instead, people can get a bit antsy when you speak about their dog, they get all defensive and stupi ;)
Anyway, you know where we are now so swing by anytime ;)
Petmom: Your ideas sound great!! I want to own a dog boarding kennel after college, and I'm always thinking about ideas like yours that normal boarding kennels don't do. Most don't think about the dogs state of mind, just how to make more money. I really like your idea of 'no cages'. I also live in a rural-y area in MO. People arond here that have dogs either treat them like babies, or they are just 'hunting dogs' that are beaten on a daily basis. Very hard to find Cesar supporters, or people willing to spend money or time on things for their dogs. I can definitely relate to what you're saying.
Jofi: You are so so kind!! While on my drive to work the other day a person was tailgating me, even though I was already speeding. After they passed me, I caught myself thinking 'I hope that a** gets pulled over!" But then I thought of you, Jofi, and changed my way of thinking. Instead, I thought 'I hope they get wherever they're going on time.' Throughout the rest of the day, I felt much better about myself and calmer. I found myself automatically thinking good thoughts when someone got on my nerves. I have also changed my thoughts when working with my dogs. I get frustrated easily, a fault in my character that I can't seem to help much. To calm myself down, I tell myself 'this issue is my fault, and they arent getting it because I am doing something wrong.' It helps very much to get myself back in the calm-assertive state again.
Thanks again for all your input! :D
hey Halie, as I have said my wee friend I am not perfect you know, you still get numpties where I live people do the most senseless things and I am confounded, it's not that one hopes they get there on time but that they get there safely ;) because in their hurry to get from a to be the possible impact on someone elses life as well as their own can be staggering you know, so when you are feeling stress and frustration, just slow things down, shake the knots out nice slow relaxing deep breath , in through the nose out through the mouth, you know in films and programmes where they slow the individual to a stop and all the rest is flying by like ants busy busy busy, well you become the one that is motionless, doesn't have to be physically, if your in the car, just pull over for a moment settle yourself and then go about your day.
If you are with the dogs, just stop Halie ok gather yourself, feel the tension flow from your finger tips out into the atmosphere, get the cranks oot yer neck give your "mind body" a moment, ok visualise how you want your walk to go BEFORE you set off believe it is going to go ok,don't sweat the small stuff kiddo, that's the stuff like sand in your knickers causing a rash, shake it out ;) Do you have an ipod? If you do then just fill it with music that you associate with positives, a good time memory you know, I have mine plummed in, helps to stop focusing TOO much on the dogs, focusing is good great, but when over done can be as detremental as negativity do you see, also I find myself depending on what is playing walking to that beat, lifts the sprits! ;)
talk to you soon ma wee pal
Hi Halie,
I don't know why I kept missing this thread, but I'm glad I found it. Better late than never! I thought for a long while I was one of the youngest members of this forum (25). But to read you are 17 and doing what you are doing is awesome. Some people are mature beyond their actual age and it's a compliment to you.
A short temper seems to plague many people, especially younger generations. Society today is so fast and instantaneous, when things are a process, it's easily frustrating. I'm laid-back (or so I've been told). But I really get ticked off quickly. When I do, thanks to this forum and Cesar's show, I think about my posture. My arms are flexed, my shoulders are rounded forward and shrugged up, and my head is forward. Sounds awkward, and once I realize it, I straighten up and take a deep breath.
Daily issues are part of life - fools on the road, the person in line who doesn't know what they want to order when they get to the front, the department store where one person is working and there are a ton of people in line, etc (maybe it's just city life).
I also find it very rewarding to share my experiences (positive and negative) here on the forum. So keep up the good work, stay calm-assertive, and keep smiling to strangers!!
http://www.youtube.com/TBITB (UPDATED 3/1/10)
Hello All, Again!
GP -- I must admit that even at 56+ I am plagued with a quick temper. Like you, I get easily frustrated and find that I have to "straighten up and take a deep breath". You would think that by now I'd have learned to "chill out" on a more consistent basis. That's why I always say my own good energy is a work in progress.
Jofi -- I am constantly uplifted by your spirit, your energy, and your words! You may be no more perfect than the rest of us, but you are still an inspiration to many of us here at the "virtual park".
Halie -- You, too, are an inspiration! At 17, you have a remarkable outlook on life and wonderful energy! I wish you, your boyfriend, and your dog well always! I wouldn't want to go back 39 years to make the changes to myself; but if I'd been like you are now, imagine how much better I could be at 56!
Hope you all have a blessed day!!
Sue
Callie & Shadow
PS ....
Didn't mean to leave anyone out (above), but unfortunately this setup doesn't allow us to read all the posts in one thread while responding and I lose track of who all has said what. Must be "old age" creeping up on me. HaHa.
Sue, gosh my friend.......... Thank you ;) I think I have found my place, and if nothing else I hope my thoughts at least gets someone to stop give someone that "touch" life is to be rejoiced and lived not existed, my pockets are full of sunshine, and being here has enriched me so I would just like to thank everybody who has allowed me to come along for the ride, and I will take a walk with anyone of you and am gladdened to call you "friend"
much metta peeps ;)
sorry this is so late. I have been very busy lately with work and school and home and all the other things a 17 year old has to do her senior year. haha. I am so glad this post has turned into such a positive place for everyone to gather. Jofi, others have just reiterated what I think about you. you always have such good advice and good energy for everyone. Thanks for being so supportive to me and everyone else on here. :)
Halie, I know what it is like time just flies, I am also studying so haven't been on so much but thank you for your kind and generous words, but there is truly no need, all the thanks I need is for you to one day tell me and I know you will is that your boy is much happier and settled and life is smooth ;)
My hand is always held out Halie whenever you need it, just holla and we shall walk a while ;)